Good communication for better life

Gosshh… how life goes!! I was rather having different kind of busy life since I started to work from home and at flexi hour. It’s rather busier than my OL life and at times, I got so pissed off when I was more like a maid than a wife at home.

Something bad happened recently, and seriously it hurts me to the max. One say communication breakdown may have a negative cause to a marriage. It’s true and I wonder if that’s the reason of why I’m getting so strange to the man who sleeps next to me every day. I dislike the conversation we had, it is always more like on the business than personal stuff. Probably, I should try on George Lerner MD in order to have a better communication with man like him.

the kids...

How time flies… the kids are now aged 3 and 4 respectively.

I was cleaning up my files that lied on my very own laptop years ago and I found photos of my two darlings. Thought I had lost some of Xandria’s baby photo, but I’m so lucky that I’m still able to find it.

 

Xandria aged 17 months old, Xavier aged 3 months old

Xandria aged 3 years 9 months old, Xavier aged 2 years 5 months old

It has been 4 years

Time has been clocking like a flicked of finger and life has been so tight up with heavy workload and the kiddos... If you asked about how was the celebration over the past three years, I simply had no idea about it.

Even for this year, both of us were completely forgot about it.

Happy 4th Anniversary, Darling....

happy ever after

(picture from darkstarastrology.com)

I was sitting in front of TV watching on the news that announcing the engagement of Prince William and Kate Middleton. The news reported the engagement of Prince William indeed break the heart of thousand young ladies. But i can tell you, not only young ladies but even myself felt the same. When i said so, Stew broke into a good laugh. He said, ‘i would rather heard the same words from my daughter’.... *rolling eye*

May they happy ever after....

Xavier, the little cheeky...

How time real flies... without knowing it passed, i just realise that Xavier is going to be on 23 months old today. This little cheeky boy of mine always drives me up to wall, yet at times he is my beloved darling.

See, how cheeky he is with jie-jie hair pin...

 As almost on 23 months old, he is doing well with his development so far. But he is still the little monster at home. On speech wise, consider a slow learner compared to Xandria. She is rather a good speaker now. Countdown to his 2yo birthday.... seems we shall have another round of party-ing soon.

you know...it's HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Happy birthday my darling...

No special dinner for you

No special gift to you either

And initially no cake for you too... but you were saying to buy one because of your two loving angels.

I know LIFE may piss you off sometimes,

I know having a clumsy wife like me might ALWAYS put you speechless...

But you know, you truly know that how much i feel about you.

You ... not only you but with your children complete me.

Sorry if i had done something that dismayed your day...& HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Again...

I know life never been easy to me, still I am trying my best to cope. Lately, I found myself hard to compromise with Stew’s point of views. At times, i felt he has changed. He has changed completely from the person i first met. From a very thoughtful, a highly esteem in my views to someone that only think of himself. Like what he always mentioned that he is kind a envy with his cousin who wife totally support to the husband’s view without having any doubts.

We both got speechless after an argument happened last night. Not a word of greetings... if a relationship of husband & wife to be like what he expected, I found it meaningless....

Happy Birthday to me...

Happy Birthday to me, I said to myself when I was in front of the mirror this morning.

Stew was the first person who greeted me at 12.05am but I was rather expected he gave something to me instead. And he didn't. Until I'm at the petrol kiosk to fill up my fuel tank, I found something new that I never know it should be belong to me. Yeah... it's a brand new wallet from him. Not a brand like LV, G? or Coach but an ordinary brand and I found it suit to my daily use. What else can I expect him huh??

Thanks dear....

Decided....

These days, my mind has been surrounding with a questions like this:

To work or not to work?

To be SAHM or to work part-time?

Obviously, I know well that I might not able to let go my career and fulltime being as SAHM. Not only that the financial issue but mentally. Am I really prepared myself for that? I should have no regret and that’s no turn back on any decision made.

As I looking at the two sleeping angel faces last night, how can I simply allow those incidents happened on them?? How can I giving chances for those irresponsible people to harm them anymore?? For what had happened, it’s not a minor injury. Even paed told me to watch really closely on what had happened to them.

I’ve decided, I want to take care of them myself. I want to give my 100% love, concentration to them. So, I’ve finally made up my mind……

10 years relationship, 3 years of....

In year 1999, I got to know him from a close friend’s birthday party. We became a very good friend since then. 2 years later, we got attach to each other after realized that our relation is rather just a friendship. After a long 6 years of hard relationship, he proposed to me … and we finally tight up the knot in year 2007.

And now, it has been 3 years since we got married. For the past 3 years, I seem have no much achievement in life except having 2 VIP, Xandria & Xavier. Life isn’t that good when you know it’s going to very tough ahead and more preparation needed.

I can't assure for a long lasting relationship but I do pray GOD for it...

the relationship...

When you in a down mood, you’ll tend to miss your family very much. Yeah, I missed my mom, my siblings, my friends, my life in KL so much…

I opened up my laptop files that contains of photos with my family, my kiddos, I just noticed how time really flies. From married to newborn of Xandria, then added-in of Xavier … You know, sometimes I just find myself hard to believe that I’m a mother of two by now.

(front) Chen Jin, Xavier... (behind) Xandria, Jia Xin

I love this photo. Both sis and I got a pair of children... and I wonder how they'll look like 20 years later.

what choice do i have?

Thanks for all your comment and concerns. I truly understand that other than to talk to him, I had no alternatives. I can’t just leave my children and runaway, I can’t pretend that he is not part of the family, I can’talk bad about him in front of kiddos........ and they are thousand of obligations that don’t allow me to act as I wish.

We had a talk eventually… (guess that’s the only choice I had) but no solution was found. Just that I hope he will commit on what he promised.

I felt hurt...

I’m in a very down mood today. Not because I’ve to work when others are in holiday but … it’s something unhappily happened last night. It’s not something serious but it hurt and it has hurts me deeply.

Being to stay 300km away from my family, I do expect more concern from Stew. I do expect him to be more thoughtful than usual. I do hope he can be with me anytime, anywhere when I’m in needs of him. But I was so wrong for having such thoughts. If a man born without a thoughtful heart, eventually he will never be like that.

As for what had happened last night, I scrolled down my phone listing as thought of seeking help from others. Sad enough…. no one could help, not even a number that I can ever call to. I was so helpless that moment, my eye was almost covering by tears but I told myself to be tough. I had to find the solution myself and my children were waiting for me.

When there is a wish, there is a will. Problem has been solved but my relationship with Stew….. I don't wish to talk to him, I don't even want to have a good talk either. Because ........... I felt hurt.

Updates

I’ve lack in updating my personal blog ever since that accident we had over the last weekend. No worry, both Xandria and I have feeling much better by now. Just that I got a very serious and painful lesson of being so careless and took granted on the safety.

Everyone was sick like hell except Stew. All three of us having flu and it’s like never cure where the flu germ spreading one after one. What’s worst is that mom going back to KL this weekend. From there on, I’m going to stay alone with my kiddos, Stew and maid. I’m having kind of uncomfortable feeling with my home suddenly without mom’s sound. Can’t really imagine how life would be. And, both Gen-X will be under care by babysitter aka my cousin in-law starting next week. Can’t really imagine how both of them will behave at the cousin house and the maid, I hope she won’t create trouble to me but to assist my cousin in-law in taking care both Gen-X.

Let see how we all adapt to new changes of life…

first attempt to home-made breakfast

I’ve committed to Stew that I’ll try to have more home cook since we own a complete kitchen. Be frankly, I own a pretty nice kitchen although I’m not a good, frequent cooker. During the December long holiday, I decided to try on some recipe I got from a blogger who own a very nice foodies blog, Bits of Taste.. Gosh… by looking at the photo, I was like been starving for few days.

I make a good try on this recipe. Stew and both Gen-x loves it…

Ham, Cheese Bread Rolls

Original recipe can get it HERE...

here gone the X'mas day....

Goshh… it was a great happily festive I ever had. No big, grand party but a small BBQ with some close friend and relatives was enough to make everyone happy. We had a great time over the weekend and my both darling enjoyed outing too.

So what we had for present? I got:

Mom – a branded handbag
Xandria – a set of Barney colouring tool & toy Laptop
Xavier – Barney writing board
Stew – nothing

And what daddy got me?? It’s the latest of iphone 3GS. Oh mind, it’s really a high-tech gadget and I noticed of all features, I am manage to do only one thing with it..... and it’s to make calls. If you are sms-ing, the service provider is charging you based on the 3G rates. Yes, you can only sms-ing via 3G by using iphone. Like my friend told me, this is actually a luxury toy to richie and she has to terminate her 3G services in due course.

Basically, this gadget is suited to Stew at the end of day and I had to use his existing one. So, I'm the one has no Christmas present.

the moment captured...

I love this photo the most... i love the bonding of two!!!

the wave that make me feel so comfy...



the little darling of mine...

These photos were taken few weeks ago when we went to Desaru seaside and Ostrich Farm. Both Xandria & Xavier were so excited to be able to go 'kai kai' (outing).

little princess of mine...

Having a child indeed enrich the meaning of my life. From the moment I conceived until the day she was born, it's rather not an easy journey. After all, time really flied. Soon, she is going to be TWO while 'Me' has been a mother of TWO...

Looking at the photo, I found myself a bit languish and 'old'. Probably that was the real mean of being a MOTHER.


i love you, Xandria. You are the forever princess of mommy...

Thanks darling...

**痴心绝对**

想用一杯latte把你灌醉
好让你能多爱我一点
暗恋的滋味
你不懂这种感觉
早有人陪的你永远不会
看见你和他在我面前
证明我的爱只是愚昧
你不懂我的那些憔悴
是你永远不曾过的体会
为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解
我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切
你又狠狠逼退我的防备
静静关上门来默数我的泪
明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会
我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲
曾经我以为我自己会后悔
不想爱的太多痴心绝对
为你落第一滴泪
为你做任何改变
也唤不回你对我的坚决

A song that reminds me when I first fell in love with a guy.

A Song that evokes how foolish I am being in love with a guy that doesn't indeed belong to me

A song that in fact makes me understand, to love doesn't mean have to being together.

A song that even educes that I shall appreciate for having someone to love me, to take care of me so much

Thanks darling...

Mumbling.....

It was rather a hectic day when I need to take care of my children myself. Mom and sis were actually gone back to KL for personal matters. I took 2 days leaves and being a ‘SAHM’.

To take care of 2 young children, I was rather exhausted. Xandria has growing so well to be a sister. She loves her little brother in the way of hugging him, kissing him, patting him except sharing toys with him. *rolling eyes*
Xavier has getting so vigorous as he grows. He refused to sit still on the high chair or walker. He likes to climb anywhere he can, even when he is being carried, he is still moving here and there endlessly. You can imagine how tired to carry him in that way.

Today marked 9 months old of little Xavier.


Message to baby Xavier:

Although mommy has been spending most of the time with Jie Jie, somehow you are still the little darling of mommy.

Mommy loves you and Happy 9 month old!!!